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Grief, Guilt and the Things We Carry

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Looking back, I don't think grief was the hardest thing for me to carry. It was the guilt that came with it. The guilt of laughing, of having fun, of slowly forgetting small details and of continuing to live when the people I loved no longer could. It took me years to understand that those are not the same thing. When I was around seven years old, an elderly uncle from our neighborhood passed away. I didn't understand death then. To me, it was just another evening. At 6 PM, I switched on the TV to watch my favorite cartoon. My aunt stopped me and explained that when someone passes away, we don't celebrate. No television, no festivities, no birthdays, no entertainment. I remember my younger sister missing her birthday celebration because someone in our hometown had passed away. At the time, it seemed normal. It was simply what everyone did. But children are always learning, even when nobody is teaching them directly. Somewhere along the way, I absorbed a lesson that stayed w...
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Am I good enough for anyone to stay?

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They were never cruel. Never intentionally hurtful. They weren't rude or malicious. Yet somehow, people still got hurt. A mind wired differently can make friendship feel like walking through a room full of invisible rules. They miss cues others seem to understand instinctively. They push themselves to fit in, to act normal, to belong somewhere. And they keep pushing until they can't anymore. People say they understand. They say, "You'll grow out of it," or "It'll get better with age." The funny thing is, they left. The disorder didn't. It stayed. Quietly. Persistently. Existing long after the people who promised understanding disappeared. They wanted others to understand them, but explaining themselves became exhausting. How do you describe thoughts that even you struggle to untangle? How do you explain why simple things feel complicated, why overthinking never stops, why every interaction gets replayed a hundred times afterward? And then there a...
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So, when love leaves, don't forget to love yourself a little harder.

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When someone leaves you, please don't leave yourself behind. It hurts, really hurts, when love walks away, leaving you with questions that sting like salt in a wound.   You wonder: Am I not lovable?  Am I too much to handle?  Do I even deserve love at all?  It's like staring into a mirror that reflects all your doubts and fears back at you. That voice inside, it's like a shadow, whispering these painful doubts into your ears. It's tough, so tough, to bid farewell to someone you cherish, only to find yourself battling your own inner demons. They'll try to convince you that you deserve this pain, that somehow everything is your fault.  But here's the thing: you don't have to listen. This heartache, this ache deep in your soul, it can be a place of healing, a sacred space where you learn to love yourself through the hurt. It's a chance to be your own best friend, to hold your own hand when everyone else has let go. So, when love leaves, don't forget to ...
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Unlocking understanding: The power of communication and comprehension.

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I used to think just communicating was enough, but then I realized it's about if the other person is actually comprehending what you are saying. You can talk all you want, but if they don't understand you, it's like chaos inside. You keep saying the same things about what's hurting you, what's bothering you, but it feels like they're not really listening. They nod, they say they understand, but they end up doing what they want anyway. Over time, I've learned how important it is to really understand each other and follow up with actions, not just words. Expressing  your feelings and talking about your thoughts is crucial, but comprehension is the real key.
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To the ones that fixed what they didn’t break✨

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Wandering through friendships can feel like stumbling in the dark. Some disappear when happiness fades. But there are those true friends who stick around, patching up wounds they didn't cause. They're the comforting hug when tears fall, the listening ear for endless complaints. They're the guide bringing you back to yourself when you're lost. They invite you to cheerful brunches and stand by you in silence. They mend you without you even realizing it, gathering and putting together the broken pieces. Amid your ups and downs, they promise to always be there. My heart is full of gratitude for those who stayed, for they, too, helped mend what they didn't break.
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Things To Say To Soothe Your Inner Child.✨

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• I am sorry you had to go through that. • I see you trying the best you can. • I see you and I hear you. • It's okay to cry, I am here for you. • It's ok to want things to be different. • You are loved just as you are. There is no need to change. • You are perfectly imperfect & powerful beyond measure. • What happened to you was not your fault. • You did all you could do. • Your feelings are valid. • It's okay to feel lonely sometimes. • You longer have to hide yourself. • I forgive you.
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Rediscovering the Lost Child Within: Healing and Grieving.

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In four years of therapy, I've embarked on a journey of transformation, but with each passing day, I've realized that I'm bidding farewell to a part of myself— the inner child. The child who once found joy in the simplest of things, like wandering into stationery stores or relishing candy floss, now feels distant, as if slipping away beyond reach. Slowly, without warning, the essence of that carefree spirit began to fade, leaving behind a sense of loss and confusion. Who was I becoming? The adult me stared back from the mirror, searching for answers, yet feeling lost in the process. The healing journey was draining, pulling me into sleepless nights and bewildered days, as I struggled to reconcile the person I was with the person I was becoming. Healing isn't just about overcoming pain; it's about mourning the innocence and wonder of the inner child that once defined us. It's a journey filled with moments of celebration, rage, and profound sadness—a journey that ...
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