Grief, Guilt and the Things We Carry
Looking back, I don't think grief was the hardest thing for me to carry. It was the guilt that came with it. The guilt of laughing, of having fun, of slowly forgetting small details and of continuing to live when the people I loved no longer could. It took me years to understand that those are not the same thing. When I was around seven years old, an elderly uncle from our neighborhood passed away. I didn't understand death then. To me, it was just another evening. At 6 PM, I switched on the TV to watch my favorite cartoon. My aunt stopped me and explained that when someone passes away, we don't celebrate. No television, no festivities, no birthdays, no entertainment. I remember my younger sister missing her birthday celebration because someone in our hometown had passed away. At the time, it seemed normal. It was simply what everyone did. But children are always learning, even when nobody is teaching them directly. Somewhere along the way, I absorbed a lesson that stayed w...